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Nerve damage caused by diabetes and other conditions can impair a man’s ability to get and sustain an erection.And low levels of estrogen can thin and dry a woman’s vaginal tissues, making intercourse uncomfortable.As a result, she feared that her spouse no longer found her attractive, and he felt bad about his low libido as well as his short-lived erections and inability to satisfy his wife’s desires.Such physical and psychological problems in relation to sex are not all that unusual among seniors.It also helps couples survive the ups and downs of long-term relationships.In the case of the elderly couple I counseled, the man saw a doctor, who gave him testosterone supplements to increase his libido.Daters who are 50 and older tend to be less impulsive — and that's a good thing.
Last I heard, my septuagenarian patients were sexually happy and healthy -- and enjoying new modes of intimacy.
I can't promise that, but I can tell you what is reasonable to expect from your first person-to-person encounter with someone you've met online: A first date evokes a junior high school dance: nervous people trying to look cool. It's nonsense that you need several dates to determine the viability of a new relationship.
But watch out for those jitters — they can make you feel so anxious that you project your own hopes on to this new person, rather than noticing his or her true nature. Ask questions about the issues that matter most to you. On a date not too long ago, I worried I'd been hit by lightning. That view discounts the possibility of magic — an undeniable resonance that a man and woman feel for each other, often right from the start.
Ask your doctor if your problem has a medical cause -- and a solution. Experiment with masturbation to satisfy unfulfilled desire. Older men need more touching to get an erection, and older women need more touching to get lubricated.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if your next first date were also your last first date? If similar symptoms beset you on a first date, don't panic — take them as a positive sign!